On the day of the funeral of a dear friend, colleague, and mentor, I have a few thoughts to share that I would like you to dwell upon in your heart.

If any of these ring true for you, remember that each and every moment, we receive opportunities to make new choices, to go after our dreams, to act upon the love that is at the center of who we really are. Dreams are not just for dreaming. Dreams are for doing.

I wanted to travel to an exotic place, but I was afraid I couldn’t afford it.

I wanted to go to an amazing event, but didn’t want to go alone, so I didn’t.

I wanted to do something wild and crazy just to see what would happen, but I was afraid of what people might think.

I wanted to tell my child how proud I was of her, but I was afraid she’d get a big head.

I wanted to create something inspirational, but it was easier to watch TV after a hard day at work.

I wanted to start my own company, but I was afraid that I might go bankrupt.

I wanted to dance, but I stopped when I thought about how I couldn’t dance as well as other people.

I watched carefree children playing with abandon, and I wished I were like them again.

I wished that I could love unconditionally like my pet, yet I couldn’t shake the need to uphold the illusion of my own self-importance.

I wished that I could be there for people when they needed me, but I’ve just got too much of my own stuff going on to help.

I wish I could accept myself as I am, but I just can’t forgive myself for all of the mistakes I’ve made.

I wanted to give a hug to someone when they needed it, but I was afraid that they might be offended. 

The most precious time is now. The only moment that counts is this one. Let’s do a little better each moment to let go of our fears and choose the way of Love. And when we stumble, let’s have compassion upon ourselves, get up, dust ourselves off, and keep moving in the direction that Love leads us.

My friend was one of the most generous people I have ever known. I am blessed to have known him. I would not be who I am today without his kindness, generosity, and support.

Thanks, Mark, for everything! I’ll see you later!

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Today is All Saints’ Day, and it feels appropriate to share a bit of my perspective with you on this day.

I’m not going to relate my perspective to the historical developments related to this day or to any particular theological or religious traditions. I’m just going to share a few thoughts that are occurring to me today.

To me, All Saints’ Day can help us to remember those people that have touched our lives in ways that have helped us to connect to more of who we really are as Children of God. These could people we know directly or that we are aware of their influence more indirectly. We may not even be aware of their influence or existence at all!

These people could still be incarnate, or may have moved onto another phase of existence. Actually, many of these people we may have never known in the flesh, only knowing that spirit beings have been assisting us as we have been working through the challenges of our lives.

To me a saint is someone who in their own unique way helps us to connect to the Power of Love which makes life worth living. Some saints are hard and crusty and not a whole lot of fun.Some are serious. Others are soft and fuzzy and warm and cuddly. Others make us laugh, while others are good at making us think. Each of these souls are helping us to experience and discover the power of love in their own unique ways.

All Saints’ Day (for me) is a special time to remember who we really are to each other despite the trappings and illusions that might help us to forget what is real and meaningful.

People are people with their bodies and without them. Saints come in a wonderful variety of forms. Not that I tend to think of things in this way, but who is to say that animals, plants and minerals may not also be manifestations of love that also help us to experience more of the truth as well?

Every moment of our lives is a fresh opportunity to experience greater love and therefore express even greater gratitude for those who have helped us expand our perspective.

I am very aware that there have been a multitude of souls seeking to help and support me on my trek. For a long time I thought many of them were crazy, foolish, or even non-existent. I have actually come to recognize that I would not be where I am today if it were not for the love, faith, and prayers of a great multitude of souls in the flesh and beyond the flesh who chose to support me despite my great and many shortcomings and limitations.

I’m so grateful for the many people who believed in me when I could not believe in myself. I would not be alive today if it were not for their love and faith. Of this I am certain.

During this All Saints’ Day may we take a moment to express our gratitude in joyful ways for those who have helped, supported, guided, and loved is us in our journeys. There is not a single one of us who does anything worthwhile by ourselves. We are supported in visible and invisible ways with the thoughts, prayers, love, and faith of many, many others, whether we are consciously aware of it or not.

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I don’t know whether there are really creatures that are like the vampires of myth and legend. The point of this post is to help you recognize the vampires in your life so you can move toward living a vampire-free lifestyle.

There are two basic types of vampires: internal and external. Both of these types of vampires do not drink our blood (most of the time!) What these vampires are good at is draining our energy, our very life force. Blood is one of the universal symbols of human life energy. When a people lose enough blood, they die. Internal and external vampires drain us of our essential life force and thus hasten our demise as well.

External vampires are people who drain our energy in a multitude of ways: manipulation, blackmail, addiction, extortion, guilt, shame, blame, anger, fear, passive-aggressive behavior patterns, physical abuse, ad infinitum.

Internal vampires are those fear-based programs that have us focused on what we do not want. And these programs lead us into disempowered ways of being and doing. These vampires block us from fully-connecting to our magnificence and also cause energy to leave our bodies in unproductive ways.

For most people, most of the time, both of these kinds of energy vampires are draining us of our life force constantly without our being conscious of what is really going on. Usually things have to get pretty bad before we do something about either of these vampires. The kinds of phrases that come up at times like these are: “That’s the final straw,” “I’ve hit rock bottom,” “I’ve had enough,” etc.

I’m going to give away a major secret of what it takes to rid ourselves of the many vampires that drain us of our vital live force. While we are usually more aware of the external vampires in our lives, the fastest and most effective way to set ourselves free from the tyranny of vampires is to clear out the internal ones first and foremost.

The truth is that nothing outside of ourselves can drain our energy without our permission. And the only way that external vampires succeed in draining our energy is because we have internal vampires that are already draining our energy in ways that work in harmony with the tactics of external vampires.

For example, someone else can only “make” us feel guilty if we already have a guilt vampire operating within us. If we didn’t have an internal guilt vampire, we would not tend to attract guilt vampires. If we did happen to encounter a guilt vampire, we would not buy into their particular energy addictions or psycho-emotional control dramas. And not getting their fixfrom us, they would move on to other victims. In this way we would remain powerful in the presence of various energy addicts as we release/heal more and more of our internal energy vampires.

Vampires are not bad. They are just addicts (external) and addictions (internal) that are looking for their next fix because they have become disconnected from the true Source of Life Energy. These dysfunctional patterns are based on the false assumption that people must manipulate and control other people to get the energy they need to survive. Let us have compassion upon ourselves and others afflicted by these debilitating patterns. And in so doing, we will begin to experience a whole new life of freedom, love, peace, and joy.

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Everybody has skeletons in their closets. We tend to think that there are some people with skeletons in their closets and other people who don’t have any.

Everyone has them. Actually, most of our life closets are so full of skeletons that if we open the door, we will be buried in an avalanche of bones. If you are consciously aware of many of your skeletons, you’re ahead of the game! Congratulations! If you’re not aware of your skeletons, here are a few hints on how to become more conscious of our skeletons this Halloween season.

If there are any circumstances in our lives that we don’t feel good about, every single one counts as a skeleton. If it is something that haunts us from the past, that’s a skeleton. If something is happening right now that has us troubled, that’s an indicator that there are skeletons in our closets that we have been afraid to face. If we fear anything in the future that we do not want, these are all unconscious projections of skeletons that are still stinking up our inner life closets.

Here are a few thoughts that might inspire us to clear up some of our skeletons. (It’s not pretty, but it’s the truth from my perspective!)

We only have skeletons in our closets because we took a corpse of a past experience that we interpreted from a fear-based point of view. To locked the dead body of our fears in a small dark place “out of sight.” And yet, it is not out of mind. It is there, putting this stench in our inner houses. We now have storage spaces that are not available for anything (except maybe storing more corpses). Plus we will either never let other people in our homes (hearts and lives). And if we do we will have to burn all kinds of incense and lock the closet door to keep our guests from discovering the truth. If we do allow people into the home of our lives, we will live in fear that people will discover our skeletons. We won’t be able to enjoy our guests. We will be on our guard, wondering who is going to discover our deep, dark secrets.

When we have an opportunity to move into a gorgeous mansion that has been gifted to us, we turn down the opportunity to live the life of our dreams. Why? We don’t want to disturb those skeletons in our closets. If we leave our old house behind, someone may discover what we don’t want them to know about our past. (By the way each and every moment is pregnant with these kinds of opportunities!)

And so this is how most of us live our lives. Afraid to accept the gift, the mansion, the inheritance, the money, the job, the relationship, et cetera, et cetera. And we wonder why things don’t get much better for us over time. It’s because we would rather clinging to moldy old bones out of fear. We are fully capable of letting go of the corpses to embrace more and more love and life.

And remember, we all have skeletons. No one in this world can stand in judgment of us without condemning themselves. This goes for us as well as for others. So if someone actually does condemn you for your skeletons, know that they will only do so because they are afraid of people discovering their own bone collections.

And in case anyone is wondering, The Divine Source has no interest in judging or condemning us for our skeletons. The Source’s main desire is that we accept enough Love to let our skeletons go so that we can be free to live and love without limit.

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Again, this is some information I shared with a local non-profit as part of a compasssion fatigue workshop:

In life, we receive in response to our giving. So when we ask a question, we are giving a question, and so will receive a response to that question, always. To ask more empowering questions, here are a few principles:

Ask open-ended questions based on the assumption of infinite possibilities, not limitations. These kinds of questions usually begin with a “What…?” or a “How…?”

• Let’s do our best to believe, trust, know, expect that the person we are asking the question of actually has access to good responses to those questions. (This includes those questions we ask ourselves and our Divine Source!)
• When seeking to empower others through asking questions, let’s “hold the space” for the other person to respond. We empower others to the extent that we allow them to come up with their own responses to the questions that we ask. And if a response doesn’t make sense, let’s keep asking questions for the sake of clarity until things do make sense to us and to the other person.
• If we cannot ask a question from a genuine place of love, respect, and curiosity, let’s not ask it. Sometimes people have no interest in being coached or mentored. Sometimes we aren’t in a good space to offer assistance without attachments. It’s all good. And it’s all good enough for now.

I sincerely believe that the quality of our lives is a direct reflection of the quality of the questions that we ask and our openness to receiving the responses to those questions. The more empowering the question, the more empowering the response.  Just because we ask a question believing that it relates to some kind of objective reality, does not mean that it actually does. So an apparent non-response to a question could mean that we anre not dealing with reality at all, only the projections of our emotional addictions.

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Here are some thoughts that I recently shared with a local community service organziation tat is doing good work in helping people in crisis and seeking to help the people they serve become more empowered. If you are helping anyone in a crisis or to connect more with their own power or with the Greater Spiritual Power from Whom We All Come, perhaps these words will support you in your own journey. 

Let us give and serve without attachment to any particular result or outcome. It doesn’t mean that we can’t intend a desired outcome. It’s just that we need to release ourselves from choosing to feel badly when things don’t go as we plan, intend, and hope.

Any gift given or service rendered with attachment is a “gift” with the potential to create resistance and resentments in both the giver and the receiver. Giving freely means doing our best and trusting that those whom we are seeking to serve will do the best they can with what has been given. They may even reject what we offer. That’s OK. Our attachments to results and outcomes drain us because we are seeking to control that which is out of our control. This inevitably leads to suffering. When we do this, we are not trusting that our response is enough. Let’s choose to believe and trust (and eventually to know) that our responses are sufficient for the moment.

 The only thing we control is our response. Everything else is in someone else’s hands. And yet in our response is the power to transform the meaning of the present moment. This is the power to change the world right here and right now, in an instant.

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Lately, I’ve gotten a little stuck. Honestly, I don’t like admitting this. I still would like to be this perfect example for people, and yet that is still an ego-based, fear-based program running on statements and feelings like, “I’m not good enough.” “If people know the truth, they won’t like me, or accept me, or hire me, or respect me.” On and on. It’s all B.S. (Being Silly). 

So, as I’m in the process of letting more of this stuff go, here are some of my thoughts on being real as I continue to work toward being more and more real with myself and with other people.

As  I think about it, if people can’t accept me as I am, with all of my wonderful imperfections, that’s really their problem. The truth is the only people who won’t accept us as we are are people who do not accept themselves as they are. The judgement they heap upon us is nothing compared to the self-hatred, self-disgust, self-loathing, self-judgement they are currently buried under. We need to seek other people’s approval and acceptance much less than we need to give our own to those people who are especially challenging for us to love. They are in our lives to help us learn to love those aspects of ourselves that we have not allowed ourselves to fall in love with yet.

And, really, without the challenges that I am currently attracting, how can I expect myself to learn and grow? If I had no challenges, it would be a state of death. There would be nothing to work on, to grow, to develop, to expand, to clarify. I might as well not exist at that point! Our challenges, no matter how challenging, are great gifts that give us the opportunity (when we choose to see them this way) to change the way we are playing.

Being in the kinda stuck place I am right now has also caused me to ask very different questions than I was asking before. Before this little phase, my  questions were of a tweaking nature, making small adjustments in my approach to improve results. Now I am beginning to ask paradigm-shifting questions that are going much more to the root issues that I need to deal with. For example, “how could I approach something from a completely different point of view? How can I give more? How can I trust more? What is right in front of my face that I’m not seeing? How much am I trusting myself, the universe, God? What deeper fears is it now time for me to become conscious of and release?

I don’t know if this post will be of any value to you, but it’s been incredibly helpful for me!

Thanks for taking the journey with me! You honor me with your attention! May your awareness continue to expand and your journey continue to deepen in love and it’s many blessings!

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I’ve been coming across a lot of circumstances lately where people (usually women) are trying to do so much for others without doing for themselves first. Here are a few of my thoughts on this pattern:

How can you give to others what you are unwilling to give yourself? If you think you are actually able to give what you do not have (which you are not, I guarantee it.), how much longer do you think you can continue to help others when you will not do yourself the same kindness? Another way to put this question is: “How far will a car go without gas in the tank?”

How did you come to the conclusion that you are not worthy of receiving what you need and desire? What circumstances in your life did you interpret to mean that your life was worth-less than someone else’s? And how do you think that treating yourself like garbage is going to do anyone else a lick of good?

Why is it not right to decline most of the opportunites for service that come your way? A life of holistic success is not built on obligation, guilt, fear, or so-called “responsibility.” Success is a fruit of love embodied and lived out. Just say no. It was good enough for Nancy Reagan. It’s good enough for you. Say it often. Say, “Gosh, I’d be interested in doing that; the thing is I have other commitments to attend to.” If they ask what those are, you can say, “Well, my first one is to myself, to give myself the time, space, love, and attention I need to be able to serve in the ways that I have been gifted.” I’d like to see someone argue with that one.

Perhaps you are afraid of what others will think of you if you take care of yourself before taking care of others. It is possible to let others think what they will and do what you want regardless of their potential or actual opinions. If people criticize you for being kind to yourself, know that they are fearful that you may be right and they may be wrong and jealous that you are doing what they wish they could do. Let them eat their hearts out! 

Giving yourself what you need and desire is also much easier when you are clear on the unique work you are talented and gifted to do right now. Admitting that you know this and living as if you know it will go a long way toward giving you the strength to say no to everything that is not as strongly connected to your life purpose as you would like. The work you have been given is enough. Let others do their part so that you can do yours.

So at the risk of repeating myself, “How can you give what you don’t have?” Get what you need so that you can give to others out of your abundance, instead of your poverty. This is a much more fun and fulfilling way to live. Stop trying to drive on empty. Fill your tank and soar to your dreams! It will do us all a world of good!

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I do a tranformational communication talk and workshop call “Word Power.” I know, it sounds like a vocabulary-building program for gradeschoolers. So be it.

Anyway, through developing that program and seeing it’s power, I have come to appreciate even more the power of our spoken and unspoken words in attracting, creating, co-creating our worlds (however you like to think about it).

We are creators. We are made in the image of the creative Cource of Being. Everything about us is designed to create reality. Science is showing this to be true.

So, how about we speak and think with a bit more awareness?

Here’s one to get us started. How often do we hear people say, “No problem!” When someone thanks them for something they did? I hear it all of the time. Listen and see if it’s true for you as well. Chances are you say it yourself.

This would be fine except for the fact that repeating this phrase over and over again, actually creates more problems. I’m not going to go into all of the science that backs me up on this. Let’s just be open to the possibility that when you say a word your mind is focused on it. When you say the word “problem” your subconscious mind says, ‘OK, lets look for and create as many problems as we can.” You may be saying, “But I said, “No.” 

That’s great except for one thing, your subconscoius doesn’t do anything with “no.” It can’t form an image of it in such a way as to negate the images of problems that the second word creates. Even if you could visualize a “no” within your mind the second word is still spoken for your subconscious to manifest.

Whenever you find your self speaking of anything you don’t want, remember, you can make a new choice. You can say, “You’re welcome.” (There’s a revolutionary idea!) The possibilities are infinite. “My pleasure” is nice to use too. Go easy onyourself if you actually seek to change this particular habit. Enjoy the process. Find a buddy to play along with in changing this unconscious pattern. I know that you will discover some unanticipated positive changes if you take me up on this particular challenge.

Think and speak about what you want (instead of what you don’t want), and you will greatly increase your chances of experiencing it.

Go forth and create the world you desire! Your words have much more power than you realize!

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How often have we said, “What a nice person!”? How much have we wanted that affirmation for ourselves? There have been times in my life that I wanted other people to think I was “nice,” regardless of whether I actually was nice or not.

I don’t feel this way anymore. Honestly, I would love to see the word “nice” disappear from use by all people for all time. It’s time for us to let this word go forever.

Nice is not who we are called be. We are called to be who we really are, and I guarantee that nice is not one of those things.

Here’s how I see nice people. If you either see yourself as a nice person or want others to see you as a nice person, you may not like what follows. So in case you are wondering, I’m definitely not going to be nice to nice people and those who like nice people here!

1. Nice people are pushovers.
2. Nice people are doormats.
3. Nice people do not ask for what they want.
4. Nice people do not negotiate for what they want.
5. Nice people do not tell the truth out of a fear.
6. Nice people care way too much about what others think of them.
7. Nice people have way too much patience with the status quo.
8. Nice people sacrifice themselves and their own truth upon the altar of social conformity with the creed of “I’m not good enough” playing like a looped recording in their brains.
9. Nice people don’t rock the boat.
10. Nice people don’t do interventions.
11. Nice people let bullies knock people down grind them into the dust.
12. Nice people would rather allow themselves to be ground into the dust than stand up for what is good, right, and true.
13. Nice people are afraid of their own power.
14. Nice people avoid the necessary conflict that occurs between compassion and injustice.

You may think I’m not being nice in being so tough on niceness and nice people. That’s very perceptive of you. Having suffered from an addiction to niceness for way too long, I’m a little passionate about setting people free from this particular prison.

So if you are a parent, stop telling your kids to be nice! Encourage them to be who they really are and do what they really want to do! Give them the freedom to say “No!” even as you continue to be the boss. Teach your kids to negotiate by negotiating for what you want!  

Stop playing the tape in your brain that says certain things are not nice. The world doesn’t need nice right now. The world needs the truth expressed with as much love and compassion as possible. And the truth cannot be expressed from a place of niceness. It can only be expressed from a solid foundation of spiritual empowerment.

We have the problems we are currently having as a species for two fundamental reasons:

1. Most people are afraid to tell the truth.

2. Most people are afraid to hear the truth.

This is why it is so critical that we banish niceness from the face of the earth as soon as possible. We need to be bold in speaking the truth from our perspective. We need to be desirous of listening to the truth from all of the sources of truth in our lives. When we have released these fears around speaking and listening to the truth, we will have the world that the prophets and sages have spoken of for millennia.

Go forth and release your fear! Speak your truth with bold compassion, and listen for the truth in everyone and everything you encounter!

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